“You are a believer in good, and you think I’m on the evil side,” Jose said. “If you think I’m a sinner, then make me a sinner.
I am no ignorant. I want to embrace him and welcome him but I can’t. I am only considering the people he hurts. The people he ignores. What about them?
If he has to suffer to bring good to the rest of the people, so be it. Those emotions have to exist otherwise there will not be justice. There is peace in justice. And justice is the right thing to follow here. Suffering is part of it. Suffering is a wake up call. Suffering washes the evil. Sometime you need to suffer to get to the other side. The people who love him have to suffer also. The people close to him have to suffer too. The suffering of now for the blessing of tomorrow. The suffering of one for the happiness and peace of the group.
The sum of all this knowledge you share with me is non-sense on my part. I resort to my methods of living and no one can force me to change them. It is I who will decide the change. Maybe one day I will see through your eyes, feel through your soul and think through your mind, but not today.”
“What good will bring more suffering to this man if he’s already living in hell,” Alfonso replied. “Do you believe in justice in hell? His hell doesn’t need more suffering. His hell is the definition of suffering. What he needs is to end his suffering.
You talk justice but I hear vengeance. You take vengeance as the truth, eye for the eye. Better no truth at all than the one of your kind.”
“Can you forgive him, Jose?” Alfonso asked.
“I have no right to forgive him,” Jose said.
“But you chose the right to condemn and sentence him,” Alfonso said.
“I am the witness of his punishment. I am no judge, Alfonso. The judges are the people who love him and experience his existence closely. They will need to forgive. They have the right to forgive him. Find them and ask them.”
“But what about your brother?” Alfonso asked. “Based on what you said, you have the right to forgive him. You love him and he hurts you. He is an alcoholic too.”
“Yes, I have the right but I can’t. He is still drinking. He is still a great source of pain for me. How can I forgive him?” Jose said.
“At least you can help him. A universal force keeps you and your brother together. I don’t understand this force; it is more like gravity and gravity will not let you fly. Gravity keeps you grounded. It doesn’t matter what you want.”
“The price is too high,” Jose said. ”I tried and I failed. For me, he is a lost cause. I better isolate from him, as much as I can. But then, I have the curse of drunk people entering my universe. If I will charge a fee at the entrance, I will at least have some monetary healing. Maybe I will start with this guy.
Alfonso, I need to stay honest with myself and this is me being honest. Do you want me to smile and fake my way of thinking and existing only to make you feel better?”
“No. But I want you to try to change,” Alfonso said.
“I give him my anger and it’s my version of truth,” Jose said. “One life lived in a state of drunkenness is not a life.”
“I challenge you to change, my friend,” Alfonso said. ”I challenge you to open your heart.
Start by imaging that you’re in charge of bringing people wellbeing, making their life better.
Play this game with me now. Imagine you’re in charge of this mission. What would you do?”
“I won’t agree to be in charge,” Jose said. “I won’t agree to imagine such a nonsense.
I live in reality. And in reality I have failed with the one I love, with my brother.
The suffering of such adults is not a concern of mine anymore. It’s part of life, their life.
And don’t protect them. They’re adults and they chose to get through their hell with alcohol in their veins.”
Bottle Of Ignorance – Part 4
Leave a reply